Welcome to the highlight of the year – your own!

He is the feeling of the feelings. It is like falling and flying at the same time. It is moment and eternity, the perfect big little happiness. So one could go on raving endlessly. All well and good – but what is an orgasm really? What happens in your body, what has to happen for it to happen – and what if it doesn’t want to happen at all? Let us tell you here.

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First of all, our thanks go out to the women who have been fearlessly tested for studies on female orgasm in the magnetic resonance tomograph (MRT ) have laid hands on themselves. Her solo in the service of science is what makes modern insights to the pinnacle of womanhood possible in the first place. Real heroines! Let’s get started with the excitement of public knowledge. We clarify these questions here:

What happens in a woman’s body during orgasm?

What can I do if I basically have difficulty achieving orgasm?

Can I actually come to orgasm without sex?

What can I do if I have acute orgasm problems?

Why do I come while masturbating but not while having sex with my partner?

Every woman should know this about nipples

What happens in a woman’s body during orgasm?

The first touch

Click. He just touched you lightly. And yet that triggers something. Immediately the genital sensory cortex activates. This region of the parietal lobe in the cerebral cortex processes the touches in the genital region. “Our studies showed that clitoris, vagina, cervix, but also the nipples are represented there in different regions,” explains Barry Komisaruk, neuroscientist at Rutgers University in Newark, New Jersey.

The tension is building up

Hum. Things are heating up, every touch sends a new impulse. “Because the orgasm can be triggered at different points, it becomes more intense when stimulated not only at one spot, but at several,” says researcher Komisaruk.

When more desire is generated, the activity in the grey cells also becomes stronger – and now also in the limbic system, where feelings are processed and instincts have their origin. The excitement fires up the hippocampus, which stores long-term memories, and the amygdala, the amygdala in the middle of the brain, where the affects live – fear as well as lust. Now the latter is more in the foreground.

The way to the summit is at best a common one, but this requires a lot of communication and some practice. © Fizkes / Shutterstock.com

The climax is imminent

Wow. There’s a lot going on in the brain: In a moment, areas that are otherwise unconnected will be linked together. Just before orgasm, the cerebellum causes tension to build up in the thighs, buttocks and abdomen, while the prefrontal cortex in the frontal lobe – the brain’s control center responsible for planning and abstract thinking – triggers fantasies.

Reaching orgasm is essentially connected with a deactivation of areas that otherwise plan and order, in addition, fear and inhibitions are suppressed. In other words: what disturbs is switched off. The anterior cinguli gyrus, which plays a key role in the mediation of various cognitive and emotional processes, and the insula or island cortex are also involved: These regions can dampen your sensation of pain – and if they do so now, they open the way for an opposite sensation: intense pleasure.

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It pops: Hello orgasm!

Boom, ding, ding. The fireworks ignite, glow and crash: the hypothalamus floods the body with oxytocin, which triggers the typical contractions of your vagina and these infinitely delicious feelings.

But orgasm is not only a physical sensation, because oxytocin is also the central human love and bonding hormone. So that’s why you don’t just want to embrace the whole world, but above all the loved one at your side. Even the nucleus accumbens, our reward centre in the brain, is flooded with dopamine – the happiness hormone makes you fly even higher.

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After orgasm

In the pleasure centers of the brain the light goes out – the feeling of total relaxation is the result of hormonal brainwashing. Sleep well or cuddle’ nice!

Euphoric feelings: During orgasm your reward center in the brain is flooded with dopamine. © Fizkes / Shutterstock.com How to delay orgasm

What can I do if I have trouble reaching orgasm?

Some women very rarely reach orgasm, and some never even experience a climax. That’s why every woman with orgasm problems should know the most common climaxes and get them out of the way as soon as possible. Below are the 5 most effective tips for the climax guarantee:

1. overcome doubts about your own body

Yeah, during sex you’re naked. Most of the time. At that thought, many women take a critical inventory of their stomach, breasts and buttocks. If you’re not Miss Super Perfect, you’ll always find something that bothers you and makes you feel unattractive and undesirable. Bad trap! Might as well take a cold shower.

Think’ just think: Should these little flaws spoil your fun forever? They must not! Tip: Find 3 body parts you are proud of and think about them in bed. And concentrate on the real goal: caress, kiss, love. There’s no room left for nasty complexes and bad thoughts.

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2. to silence the bad conscience

Good girls don’t do that? No, they don’t. But luckily you’re a grown woman! Unfortunately, such messages often remain dormant in your subconscious. Let’s face it: good sex is not clean, but, excuse me: horny, wet, loud and physical, so it’s hard to reconcile with Mrs. Perfekt & Sauber. We recommend that you give yourself a motivational speech, like a coach: “I can do this, I want to do this, I live my sexuality self-determined and without inhibitions.” Like this!

3. do not look too deep into the glass

It’s a cross: you like to have a cocktail once in a while to get in the mood. But even the second one can torpedo the mood. “Alcohol can have positive effects – and negative ones, depending on the amount,” says Regina Wegmann, gynaecologist at Pro Familia Hamburg. Leave it with one to 2 glasses, no matter what, so that the lust does not drown.

The sum of the touches intensifies the intoxication in the brain, which ultimately becomes an orgasm. © Fizkes / Shutterstock.com

4. improve know-how

If the two of you don’t get it right, you may need to practice a little more on your own to know exactly what makes you take off. If you know the hottest techniques, you can whisper your knowledge into his ear. Expert Wegmann also advises: “Don’t wait for him to figure out what to do on his own.” Show him.

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5. health check

Yes, if it doesn’t light up in bed, it could be due to your state of health. Here’s a little checklist: Diabetes, metabolic disorders (of the thyroid gland, adrenal glands) or medications such as the pill (only some), high blood pressure inhibitors and antidepressants can interfere with the desire to have sex. “If problems with climaxes have only recently emerged, you should definitely discuss this with a doctor,” says gynecologist Wegmann.

Can I actually come to orgasm without sex?

Again and again people report that they reach orgasm without sex. Is that really possible? We’ve done some research…

Orgasm during sports

You may not be able to climax with push-ups or burpee, but in a recent study by the University of Indiana, 124 women unanimously reported hot feelings in the abdomen caused by exercise.

sleep orgasm

During the REM -sleep, i.e. the phase in which you dream, laboratory studies have observed blood circulation and swelling of the vagina, which otherwise only occurs at climax.

Chest Orgasms

Dr. Christiane Northrup, author of “Frauenkörper – Frauenweisheit” (Goldmann-Verlag, for 15 Euro), explains: “When the nipples are stimulated, the body releases oxytocin, which can cause vaginal contractions like orgasm”. That’s why sucking and stroking feels so good there.

Mentally induced orgasm

“I mentally bring myself to orgasm,” Lady Gaga declared in the New York Magazine . This is possible – even scientifically proven – with a mix of breathing and imagination. But it needs at least as much practice as the “normal” orgasm.

The fireworks of orgasm are followed by total relaxation © Fizkes / Shutterstock.com

What can I do if I have acute orgasm problems?

There are so many possible sudden pleasure killers: the neighbour turns on folk music, the telephone rings, the parcel carrier rings. When you fly out of the curve in the middle of the excitement, you sometimes find it hard to get going again. So you turn into the home stretch again.

It’s unfair, but true: not only do many women take longer than men to get there, they also get distracted more quickly during sex. “The head cinema gets out of sync more easily – women often find it harder to put aside disturbances and worries,” confirms Regina Wegmann. With these solutions, lust returns:

1. Tell him!

“Don’t just sit and brood silently,” advises expert Wegmann. This removes you even further from the lovemaking process. Show the flag and confess to him that you are no longer involved, but want to be again!

Important for orgasm problems is the exchange with the partner: What should he do and what shouldn’t he do? © Fizkes / Shutterstock.com

2. indulge in bold fantasies!

Many women worry that their lover will be bored when they need longer to be really aroused. Just the thought of it can turn you off. Therefore: Keep him (and yourself) busy with raunchy thoughts while you are stimulated. Tell him what you do, what you feel and how you get more and more the desire to feel him … No man will ever find that boring.

3. Cuddle up again for real!

If you take time for closeness again, it takes the pressure off. Tenderness is a good starting point for more intense feelings.

Even more tips for orgasm problems

4. show him love

Even if it sounds bizarre, but if you can’t go on at the moment, but you don’t want to stop yet – spoil your partner. The clever idea behind it: First of all, if you put all your attention on him, you don’t constantly revolve around your own (lack of) excitement. And secondly, you might even get hot to devote yourself to him.

Even though women reach orgasm most easily solo, the longing for the common climax is great. © Fizkes / Shutterstock.com

Why do I come while masturbating but not while having sex?

Women often achieve orgasm more easily when they are self-pleasuring than when they are having sexual intercourse with their partner. Professor Uwe Hartmann, a sexologist at the University of Hanover, explains why this is so and how you can help them reach climax.
Is it normal that women find it harder to achieve orgasm during sexual intercourse? “Yes, orgasm problems are the second most common sexual disorder in women after listlessness.

According to a study, one in four women suffered from it last year. According to another, 16% of women miss their climax with a partner altogether.”

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What is it? Is there not enough sexual tension or are they not relaxed enough?
“Both. Because first of all, a woman must be relaxed enough to allow the closeness and loss of control at all. And then – and this is often not clear – she has to build up a lot of physical excitement and tension for it.

Why do women often succeed better in reaching orgasm on their own?

“I often hear that there is a fear of losing control in front of the partner during climax. This is easier when no one is watching. Besides, no one knows her better than the woman herself – and men often know only vaguely about the female vulva.”

Are we too focused on the orgasm overall?
“On the one hand yes: we are too focused on performance and perfection. An orgasm cannot be designed. “On the other hand, if you can’t get it, it’s missing a lot.”

At best, how should the lover react to an orgasm lull?
“Best to get help when things don’t work out. Because once there is sand in the gears, it crunches everywhere. He thinks he is not a good lover, she comes under pressure, every sex, love, everything is overshadowed by it. One should calmly discuss what might help, ask oneself: What’s wrong? The woman should take care of herself – so that it also fits better with her partner.”

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With patience and some experimentation, your orgasm should not be a science. Our tips will certainly help. No matter how, with whom or how often you come: the best tip for better orgasms is to take the pressure off and just let yourself go.