He said it. He said he loves you. That means… He didn’t… RICHTIG said. Not the magic three words, but four: “I have’ love you.” But it’s the same thing, isn’t it? ODER ?
We understand your agitation. There’s a lot at stake, of course, all of it, so to speak. But it also means that you have to look carefully, take all the circumstances into account, in order to interpret what is said correctly. Unless you simply want to ask him what the hell he meant by that. There’s no law against asking. It’s just kind of unromantic. So you’d rather interpret it? Okay.
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What do men mean when they say “I love you”?
First of all, very clearly, it depends. It depends on who says it to whom, in what situation and why. And then there’s the question of what is meant by “my”. Basically, men mean that they like and are fond of someone. That’s something. At first there is no reason to question that. The questioning only arises when you wonder whether he actually meant “I love you”. And that’s where it actually gets a bit more complicated.
Is this a friendly embrace, or a loving one? © Jacob Lund / Shutterstock.com
What’s the difference between “I love you” and “I love you”?
This is also individually different, although of course “I love you” is commonly understood as the admission of the “right”, the great love. For some people “I have’ love you” is the little sister of “I love you”, or also a kind of preliminary stage. For others both mean exactly the same. For others, “to love” is also a very intimate feeling, but something different than loving.
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So if you know the person who is saying this to you, then you should know roughly what they mean. If you don’t know him well enough to know that, then it might be a little too early for the big word “love” and you should be patient anyway. The fact that he says that is at least a sign that he finds you more than just likeable. However, if you have the feeling that he is evading a deeper commitment through his “I love you”, caution is advised.
The way he looks at you, it can only be love. Or is it love? Or is it the same for him? © Jacob Lund / Shutterstock.com
What is the answer to “I love you”?
Anything you can think of. Maybe just, “Me too.” Either way, the answer should be honest and be at the same altitude. If you answer his “I love you” with “I love you”, it sounds a little like you’re trying to up the ante and challenge him to do the same. Of course you can also ask him directly what he means by that. But that would probably ruin the moment.
However, if he answers your “I love you” with “I love you” in reverse, it is actually a little strange. It sounds like he’s trying to undercut you, blow off steam. What could his reason be? Then the question arises again: Is this his individual way of expressing his affection, where he doesn’t think about it at all? Is he still careful about putting the word “love” in his mouth? Conversely, were you perhaps a little too fast with this?
In this particular situation, you could cautiously ask, “Loving and loving, is it the same for you?” If you really want an answer to that question now.
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Do you say “I love you” in a relationship?
Sure you can. Not everyone is into the pathos of the big three words. But both should agree on this, it must be okay and good for both. If, even after a long relationship with him, you still feel that “love” is a number too small for you, you have to tell him that. Either he says it differently or he has to write it 100 times on the bedroom door until he can’s.
Maybe you just have to wait and see. Or you could ask him if loving and loving for is the same thing. © Jacob Lund / Shutterstock.com
Does “I love you” signal that I’m in the Friend Zone?
That is actually the one big question that lies behind all this, behind the uncertainty and guesswork: The fear of getting into a relationship where you love him more than he does. In which he keeps you in a kind of waiting position, takes advantage of your great feelings, and doesn’t really get involved with you himself.
That is indeed possible. Perhaps, by speaking “only” of loving, he wants to keep the back door open for himself that it never was love. But let’s face it, there are other signs of this than just what he says. First of all, does he even have something like a “Friend Zone”? Is he the type?
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Other important questions: Does he keep secrets from you, does he print, is he dishonest, does he hide you from his friends and family, does he elude you in other ways than verbally? Then the probability is high that his verbal messing around is symptomatic of his entire behaviour.
But is he always open with you, honest, passionate, recognizably happy with you, happy to see you and suffering on the phone when he misses you? Then perhaps his “I love you” is an expression of great feelings for him and you just have to live with the fact that he expresses this differently than you do.
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When he says “I love you”, it is primarily a sign of his appreciation and affection. Whether he really means love by that, remains to be seen. If it bothers you that he always talks about “loving”, you should ask him what the reason is. If you have the feeling that he is really not fully engaged with you, you should draw your consequences.