Of course you can spray the portrait of your swarm on the wall opposite his office window. You can dedicate a video on YouTube in which you sing his name to the guitar. Or dance naked on the wall outside his balcony. Or you can relax and spend your time in a more meaningful way.
The entire flirt market is completely overexcited, everyone is going crazy. At the same time, more and more inhibitions are being lost and a certain brutalization is spreading. Many a Tinderbox chat room will go, “Hello.” “Hello.” “Shagging?” “Nope.” “Bye, then.” You don’t want to do all this? Neither the over-the-top hype, nor the clumsy hoochie-woochie? You’ve come to the right place.
Warnings about winter flirting
Because there are a few flirting tips that seem totally boring at first glance, but which have lost nothing of their effectiveness and value. Here they are:
1. do not go to the club, but to the library
Which you (perhaps) do: When you’re not searching the usual online flirt portals or apps for appealing faces, you and a friend pant through bars and clubs and then indulge in the cocktail-slurping illusion that the dark-haired guy at the other end of the bar will turn out to be your dream man at the end of the evening.
The most important thing in flirting, online and offline, is absolute honesty. Any fibbing can turn into an embarrassing lie. © Jacob Lund / Shutterstock.com
But in fact, he actually does his undoing as a shaggy drunkard who gets lost in the storeroom on his way to the toilet. The next day you are tired and hung over and curse at the stupid guys who again didn’t show up.
What you should do: Go to bars and clubs. But only and exclusively to party, drink and dance. NICHT for flirting. It is a sometimes confirmed, but much more often refuted thesis that nightlife is capable of producing enduring romances. So if you’re not looking for a quickie on the way to the bathroom, leave it alone.
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Instead, go to bed earlier on weekends and spend the day at weekly markets, flea markets, libraries, galleries and museums, and maybe even at the gym. Keep an eye out for potentially interesting men and see if there’s a chance to talk.
The great advantages of such interest-led events: They already have a potential common theme. Besides, it is not loud, nobody is drunk, there are not thousands of free-spinning party freaks running around, and you can actually get to know each other a little without shouting in each other’s ears.
(Another advantage: If you NUR go to clubs to party, you will appear much more relaxed and therefore more exciting for potential flirt candidates than a cocktail slurper lurking for men, but pssst! Of course that has no place here 🙂
2. don’t run after strangers, run after friends
Which you (perhaps) do: You’re looking for your dream man everywhere. In clubs, in bars, at Tinder, on dating portals, now also in libraries, on the flea market and in museums but DER IST DA NICHT VERDA MMTE AXT !!!
What you should do: Stay home. Well, not alone. And not necessarily with himself. Invite a few friends with a friend, let everyone bring someone, then cook together and drink wine, after dinner everyone has to tell the most embarrassing drinking story from their lives. Zack, everybody laugh together, even your friend’s nice neighbour, and it couldn’t have started any better.
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As much as you’d like to tell yourself otherwise: Most offline flirtations and relationships occur within the narrower and wider circle of friends and acquaintances. The reasons are simple: a secure environment, a certain amount of prior knowledge through common acquaintances, common topics and points of contact, less distraction through potential other candidates. It doesn’t have to be your best buddy or your girlfriend’s boyfriend, but they certainly know some interesting people, don’t they?
3. do not lie when flirting online, but always stay honest
Which you (perhaps) do: You make 250 selfies, work the best one with 25 beauty filters until it hardly resembles you anymore, then put it online with a dating profile in which you make yourself 3 centimeters taller, 2 kilos lighter and maybe even 1 semester of art history more interesting.
In the end, after 2 weeks, you will part with your alleged dream man, who has been matched with Tinder, because he thinks you are too small – and because you resent him for lying about his age and photo-shopping his bald head.
Do not overload the moment with fears and demands. The seriousness of the (common) life will come soon enough. © Jacob Lund / Shutterstock.com
What you should do: Don’t lie. No, not even fibbing. You don’t have to! Tell the truth. Not just because nothing’s less sexy than getting caught lying or catching someone lying yourself. No, it’s simply about not destroying the in itself so wonderful tool Internet for flirters.
In online flirting there are no nuances, no gestures and facial expressions. There are only a few two-dimensional images and the written word. And that’s why it’s so important that everything is right there. It may not be a nice comparison – but do you go out to eat a second time in a restaurant that has larger portions on the menu and the ingredients lie better? Exactly.
4. do not seek love for life, but happiness in the moment
Which you (perhaps) do: You don’t build up any pressure – but it should be 2 children, so: sometime. They are also not fixed, whether it is a shared house or an apartment – but of course ownership. And so it goes on, the invisible list in your head is long, very long. You have a clear idea of what love and life with her should look like, and you are determined to put this into practice.
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What you should do: Take the pressure off. There are so many people, so many dreams – and there’s so little room in a little flirt. If you have found someone you like, someone you can talk and laugh with, someone you find attractive, someone you want to see and touch naked, someone you want to see every day, preferably over and over again – then enjoy DA S.
If you feel good with each other and see a future, you should not demand it from each other, but start building it. © Jacob Lund / Shutterstock.com
Brake him too, if he plans and demands too much. A few basic things concerning love, faithfulness, eternity should and will be clarified in your early conversations anyway, and you can draw your own conclusions from this. But don’t unpack your photo album of your relationship dream right away to insert his picture everywhere.
5. don’t look for the crazy love story, but the normal
Which you (perhaps) do: They are waiting for the romantic adventure with hot parties, overnight trips to Paris and confetti in their hearts. You love these danced through nights, at the end of which a morning awaits you in the bed of a wild beauty.
But unfortunately Beau often turns out to be an aloof sociopath. And the guy you went to Paris with The novelist’s beautiful flowers from the neighborhood also wilted quickly without him showing up again. Not to mention the near-apartment fire caused by the 300 tea lights that the weirdo lit at your place before sex.
What you should do: Take a nice guy out for coffee sometime. Have a charming conversation about pasta sauces with a nice guy at the supermarket checkout to invite him for dinner. Don’t act like a new economy investor, don’t look for the next big thing.
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Instead, look for the next little opportunity to meet someone new and do normal things like watch movies and series, chat about cooking or go for a walk. You don’t want your life to be insanely super special, you want it to be especially beautiful. You don’t need any frippery, emotional fireworks or emotional sensations, but two normal people who fit well together and know where they stand. Then the fireworks will come all by themselves.
Even more flirting tips for women
Flirting is not mathematics. Just as there is no perfect sentence to address an unknown person, there is no ingenious flirting formula that always works. But a few very simple, perhaps boring looking behaviors have the best chance of success. By the way, another tip is: Never lose hope! You are so great, someone will find you!