Communication between men and women is difficult, and although both wish for understanding, misunderstandings tend to prevail. Of course, it always takes two, but men make a more than ambitious contribution.
Even if this is now unfortunately a bit in the direction of gender clichés: women often have to endure truly subterranean sayings. We have collected the worst ones – and tell you how to react appropriately to the nonsense.
Ghosting, Benching, Gatsbying: The most annoying dating trends
One. “Look, I’ll explain it to you.
Background: It really exists, this unfathomable urge of man to explain the world. Also and especially to explain long and wide things that woman already knows. The basis for this is probably a mixture of a) the conviction that he can actually explain the world and b) the mistaken belief that woman cannot and needs him to do so.
As you surely know, there is even a name for this phenomenon by now: Mansplaining. The matching emoji has been around for quite some time: The one with the eye rolling.
Reaction: Not to be tolerated, not even out of goodness or love of peace. If he explains something you already know without being asked, say immediately “STOPP !” and “I already know.” Objective and decisive. And then you explain what mansplaining is. Because I don’t think he’s ever heard of it.
He keeps explaining the world to you? If you don’t want to stop, you have to feel. © Jacob Lund / Shutterstock.com These are the questions you as a woman have to ask a man
2. “Must this just JETZT be?”
Background: From the point of view of many men, there is the perfect time for every activity. In relation to unpleasant activities such as cleaning or washing up, for some this moment means: later. And that always. So: never.
Reaction: At first the answer is simply “yes.” Because it has to be now. At least within the next 15 minutes. Otherwise he’ll forget it again. He still won’t? Take it easy. Beat him at his own game, that is: shut down, relax. He has to learn that household and living together is only possible through the division of labour.
If he continues to be idle and enters an unbearable state of decay in rooms, on clothes or even on him, you pack your things and move in with a friend. If he is not at all understanding, ask the girlfriend how much the room would cost per month. It is more likely, however, that within 24 hours after you move out, he will completely clean the place, tidy it up and paint it in your favourite colour.
3. “We already had EWIG no sex.”
Background: Probably the last time was just a week ago, so it is at most a matter of a felt eternity – felt by him. Men don’t always want to and can’t always, but maybe a little more often than most women. And if you don’t deliver to the extent he wants, he usually starts to push at some point.
But behind this is not always the fear of being sexually inadequate – no: He finds the fear that you might be NIE WIEDER want. Or maybe with EINEM ANDEREN ! If you take these fears away from him convincingly, he will give you peace without you jumping into the box with him right away.
Reaction: If you don’t feel like it, but he does, you tell him that he’s still the best lover you can imagine and that you’re basically in the mood for, just not right now. If he doesn’t give you a moment’s peace, you unpack his own weapons and ask out loud: “Is that what you need to do right now? JETZT be?
That’s your answer to the most annoying man questions
4. “I don’t need a manual for that.”
Background: “Self is man” is not a motto, it’s a disease. Almost all men suffer from it. It is often a truly degrading act for a man to work tenaciously along the sub-sections of an operating or assembly manual. He is a doer, not a copycat. He’s a pioneer, not a follower. He thinks.
He’s done all seven sets already? Thank God for red wine. © Jacob Lund / Shutterstock.com
Which is the real reason why many men IKEA hate: Not because of the tea lights or the endlessly long furniture exhibition (okay, because of that too) – but because of the construction of stupid shelves using an incredibly long and oh! so complicated construction manual. The man wants to act, not submit to a piece of paper – and above all he wants it to be quick. He is not sweating from work, but from waiting for it to start. (At least that’s what he says.
Actually, he just doesn’t feel like it and wonders whether the shelf is necessarily JETZT must be built up).
Reaction: Serenity. And a construction battle: Buy the same thing twice IKEA -furniture (we recommend chairs, e.g. STEFAN – you need at least two of those anyway). You will now build them up in a race – you with, he without instructions. Whoever loses, has to shut up forever. Or at least he shouldn’t bother you with the fact that he doesn’t need a manual. (Because – SPOILER – he will lose.)
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Five. “Higher, women and technology.”
Background: It cannot be proven beyond doubt, but men have most likely invented the wheel. It’s easy to imagine. Urmann accidentally steps on a piece of branch in the forest, which rolls away a little bit, Urmann falls on his butt, and the Urmann mates laugh their back fur fringed. At some point the guys push each other on rolling branches through the steppe until one of them gets the idea to transport loads this way. Urrad ready. Well. And now men are the technical geniuses.
If nothing else helps, there are ways and means to silence him. © Jacob Lund / Shutterstock.com
Okay, men have actually made most technological inventions – but mainly because they never allowed women to try it. Otherwise, the primeval man would have had a club on his head. The male dominance of technology has much more to do with a monopoly of force than with a monopoly of genius. Of course women know just as much about technology, they can even follow operating and assembly instructions better than men, hehehe.
Reaction: Ask him who Ada Lovelace was (already in the 19th century she developed the foundations for today’s computer programming languages). Ask him what Marie Curie received the Nobel Prize for (1903 for physics, 1911 for chemistry). And then explain to him how his computer works. Just like always.
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6. “I’m not asking for the WEG !“
Background: Even if a man says it would be unseemly to bother strangers with the question of how to get there, especially in times of the navigation device – actually he is afraid. He’s afraid of others. FREMDEN – to openly admit that he is lost, yes: lost himself. That he doesn’t know what to do. It’s not just about the way, it’s always about everything. And to admit this weakness before complete strangers, that he is EINFACH NICHT KLARKOMMT – never.
Then rather drive in a circle through Bochum-Riemke forever.
Reaction: Let him try it alone. If he still bucks after 5 minutes of circling, even though you have already offered to ask people yourself, then threaten him. Threaten him like this: “If you don’t slow down now so that I can ask these people, then MACHE ICH DAS FENSTER RUNTER UND SCHREIE , ICH WERDE ENTFÜHRT !!!“ That’ll work.
7. “Don’t get so upset.”
Background: He doesn’t want excitement because excitement means stress, and stress means loss of control, and there is nothing a man fears more than two things: building instructions and loss of control. Doesn’t make sense? Not to him.
Reaction: The fact is that never before has a person who has been upset reacted to the request not to get upset by saying that they have not been upset. ALSO : WARUM SOLLTEST DU JETZT DAMIT ANFANGEN ?! Say: Rege. You. On.
Swearing can be so healthy
Couple communication is exhausting. But: If you have gone through all the man-talk scenarios with him once (or even just three of them) WIRD he thinks about what he says. Then those man-sentences are history.