Most singles know it: dating is a competitive sport. And even if you have found someone who is nice and you like, the work is not over. Then it’s a matter of whether it really fits with you both. The search for common ground is one of the most important factors when choosing a partner.
Pair psychologists say that opposites can attract – but in the long run they tend to repel each other. In love, the rule of “like and like like to be together” applies. Similarities are particularly important in terms of age, education, political attitudes, life goals, values, opinions and general views of life.
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But even in places where you might not expect this, it is good to look twice to see if differences might arise with your future partner. This is exactly why it would be so important that everyone in your online flirting profile is absolutely honest, so that you don’t get into relationship hell. Often the self-descriptions in online dating are of little use, because who really tells everything about himself or herself, and how flexible he or she is here or there?
The following points do not alone determine whether your love can last – but you should be careful not to let too many of these differences creep into your relationship and complicate it unnecessarily later.
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Do you both watch the same shows?
In the past, the battle over the remote control was still about the question ARD or ZDF ? Today is about more than that. About Netflix or Amazon, about It may sound crazy, but it can actually be important for your relationship whether you both have a similar taste in series. Series are DAS Media consumption format of the 21st century, people spend more and more time Do you always want to do this without the dearest person in your life?
How are you going to talk about the things you’re doing when the latest season of your beloved “Game of Thrones” is on – and he’s watching “Downton Abbey” all the time? Or vice versa?
There has to be a regulation. That doesn’t mean you always have to watch everything together, of course. Of course it’s no problem if you like to bang all seasons of “Friends” again and he inhales everything about the “Walking Dead” on his laptop. But there should also be series that you both like and can watch together.
How badly you need to resolve this: Depends on how addicted you are – so it’s best to get started before the next season of your favourite series begins.
You use social media, he doesn’t? Then you should at least discuss with him what you post from your relationship. © Eviled / Shutterstock.com
Are you both social media fans?
They make a nice selfie with him on it. You want to post it on Instagram, he protests and gives a lecture on “all that annoying social media crap”. That’s quickly resolved for now, by not posting the picture on the net or just choosing another one of your own. But in the long run? That can be quite difficult if you have to agree with him again and again on what you can reveal about yourself and your relationship.
Conversely, you would be just as irritated if he is the social media fan and you are not. If you don’t find a clear agreement early on that both of you can live well with, it will be a mortgage on your relationship.
Also exciting: If he loves Twitter and you love Facebook and/or Instagram. Then there’s always the question: “What did you say about me in DEINEM Network?” But this is easier to clarify, because after all there is an affinity for self-publication in both.
How badly you need to resolve this: Sometime soon, at least before the first swimwear selfies are on vacation…
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Do you both love pets?
The trend is towards dogs. Or the cat. Anyway, more and more singles are getting pets. And when two singles become a couple, it is quite possible that worlds collide. It’s hard to say whether it’s worse when one side brings in an animal and the other doesn’t – or when a dog lover falls in love with a cat owner. In both situations, moving in together can be difficult.
In the first case it depends on the attitude of the unpopulated person, because the person with animal will never give up his companions. Is the person without animals fond of animals, but not a fan? Then a lot of things are possible. Does he only like animals well-done with a fine sauce and does he otherwise consider pets to be ballast that produces excrement? Then you can probably forget about it.
If the person without animal is allergic to animal hair, it looks similar. If both bring an animal into the relationship, it will also be exciting, especially with dogs and cats. You will be surprised how little erotic your evening bedroom gatherings will be when Mimi and Bello are snarling at the door and fighting the final battle for supremacy. By the way, this also applies to dog-dog and cat-cat constellations as well as to the combined cat-cat-wave-parakeet, tschilp-miau.
In any case, it is better if you use the GANZ early, preferably before IHR Dog the smell SEINER Cat on IHR EN clothes. GRRRR-FAUCH !
How badly you need to resolve this: Very urgent. If only because of the animals.
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Is only one of you a (non-) smoker?
They say you get used to everything, but that’s not enough. Because sometimes habit is a dangerous vice, and nobody should drag anyone into it. If he’s a smoker and you’re disgusted by cigarette smoke, your love has a problem.
Because even if he goes outside or on the balcony to smoke, he will always smell of it, and even these vapours will be carcinogenic. Even if you get used to the smell, your body can’t. Sad as it is, if the smoking part of the relationship doesn’t stop, it will slowly kill the non-smoking part. I can’t do that. What if they both smoke? Then you both should stop – just not making love.
How badly you need to resolve this: Very urgent. It’s for your health!
Both are digital fans, and both live vegan? After all: Two of many possible relationship problems less. © Eviled / Shutterstock.com
Do you both eat meat?
It’s so easy to make jokes about vegans. Ultimately, people do it so that they don’t really have to worry about what vegans do. If you fall in love with a vegan as a meat eater – or vice versa – you will be forced to think about it differently.
No matter what the division of roles: Ultimately, being with someone who continues to eat or dress dead animals or drink their babies’ milk means more overcoming and tolerance for the vegan. The meat eater only has to tolerate a little soy milk and tofu sausage. In the long run, vegans have to make this decision for themselves – and the non-vegans should be happy if it turns out in their favour. And therefore then at least no more Veganer jokes make.
How badly you need to resolve this: Oh, don’t worry. The subject will come up, first time we dine together…
Do you even watch linear television anymore?
It used to be so simple. RTL is running “Superstar” and Jungle Camp, Pro7 delivers top model bashing and Stefan Raab shows, and at 8 pm the news comes on and sorts the world events. But today, more and more people watch YouTube videos or Netflix, download movies and maybe go back to the media library of their former favourite station for the news.
What if both worlds meet in a relationship? If you stream digitally whenever you want something – and he shouts at 6 pm on Saturdays: “Sportschau geht los!” and drops everything? That’s not just a battle old against new, modern against old school. It can turn out to be a tough nuisance in a relationship, because as I said before: people are spending more and more time consuming media. If you don’t get together there, cuddling together in front of the TV is no longer a meaningful activity.
How badly you need to resolve this: At the latest before the start of the next Live-TV -Squadron that one of you wants to watch. Otherwise, it’s “I’m your honey – and I want to get out of here!”
Conclusion: The spirits often divide on little things, also and especially in love. That’s why you should discuss the seemingly unimportant details such as TV habits or online preferences as soon as possible, so that no trivialities stand in the way of great love.